Not to sound like a jaded adult but...sitting at a computer all day gives me what I like to call “computer face,” where my eyes kind of glaze over and my mouth sort of sags and my neck kinks to one side. (I know what you’re thinking and yes, I do pick up a lot of men at work.)
So, as a special treat last weekend my mom let me use a gift card we had to get a massage.
Now, I think we can all agree that massages are awesome, and I was feeling quite lucky to get one. But... if we’re being totally honest with ourselves there are a lot of strange things about the spa experience, too.
- The music: I’m pretty sure I could have recorded the CD in a closet with a doorbell and a PlaySkool xylophone.
- The phrase “Would you like me to work your glutes?”
- Answering yes to the aforementioned question.
- Oils: Oh hey...just trying to bring slicked hair back!
- The locker room: how comfortable is one supposed to act while changing in front of strangers? Do you go with the awkward slink out and in approach or are you the bold, whip-it right off type? Don't answer either of those questions please. This is a G-rated blog.
- Steam showers: Very hard to breathe in.
- False identity: Ok, this isn't a normally weird part of the spa experience, but since my mom had made the appointment they called me Lynn the entire time and it was confusing.
|This is kind of what I looked like after the massage. Except less dreamy.|
Even more confusing was when the masseuse left me alone in the room to take off my robe and get into the bed. She said she would wait a moment and then knock and come back in. Ten minutes later...I was still laying with my face in the hole, wondering if I was supposed to yell something out the door or make a run for my robe so I could go find her.
Luckily, I gave it a few extra minutes and managed to not flash my masseuse, which I take as a sign that everything went pretty well overall. Even if I was a little oily and aromatic when I rejoined the rest of the world.